diana iannarone

Through all the pain that we have endured from those who claim to love us, many of us begin to redefine Love.  We decide that space of Pure Love, of Pure Acceptance of who we are does not exists.  We acknowledge, we need to settle for something less because it is unreasonable to decide there is something more, something that inflicts no harm and bears no pain. We begin to accept that there is something wrong with us, that it is true we are not good enough…not pretty enough, not capable enough, or perhaps just too sensitive. Adoption of these beliefs, allows us to see only through the lens of those beliefs, always feeling this sort of emptiness inside, seeking a solution to that emptiness outside of ourselves.

We go forth in the world seeking the person that can see us and love us as we are, ignoring that we do not reveal the truth of who we are.  We hide behind a facade, hoping no one will see our wounds inside.  We want to be loved and accepted as we hope they will see us, not as we truly are, as we ourselves will not even face that truth.

We cover any signs of our wounds as best we can, putting forth the illusion of who we are. We hope no one will discover the negative beliefs we have, the terrible things we believe about ourselves.  The scope of how negative we will be to ourselves is in direct proportion to the depth of the pain we endured and what we chose to believe as a result. We ignore the things we harshly say to ourselves, reminding us how we fail, how we are not perfect.  We decide we can do better, we can be better, and we strive to love better, praying our devotion will give us love and acceptance in return. We want to find that person who will see us different than those negative beliefs, someone that can instill in us a new truth, a truth that would remind us we are worthy, we are loveable, we are perfect as we are.

This search is futile.  The search if futile because no one can see us as more than we are willing to see ourselves. At least not for long. So we seek and never find, and so often settle into what feels comfortable, never asking ourselves if this is Pure Love, a love that inflicts no harm and bears no pain. We have released that thought into the ethers…that is just a fairy tale we tell ourselves.

Those of us that choose to stay committed to that belief in fairy tales, tend to fall into the trap of deception.  We are the people that believe we see in another, that potential to become who we believe they want to be. We believe our compassion and Love can heal them, and then we will have what we always longed for, unconditional love.

Yet, as we offer our love and ignore our pain, what do we endure on our path?

Suffering.

What if, the decision that makes us evade pure love, is in fact the decision to pretend we are invulnerable?  What if deciding to be vulnerable in the presence of another, and also deciding to immediately walk away from anyone that did not embrace that wound in love, is the path to find what you seek-Pure Love?

If you looked across your life and decided, that you will accept nothing in opposition to love, would you find that you must depart from those around you? Our societal preference seems to be that we decide we must toughen up, not be so sensitive, tolerate the intolerable…which creates our most tragic delusion, the illusion of invulnerability.

We allowed life to teach us that it is not safe to be vulnerable, not safe to show our wounds, therefore, we unknowingly make the one decision that is guaranteed to keep us from Pure Love. We decide to bury our wounds and use our stamina and endurance to prevail.  We decide we are invulnerable.

This single decision, for as long as we hold it, removes from our life forever, the ability to grant ourselves the one thing we have always wanted. Pure Love.

What if finding Pure Love, is as simple as being your transparent self? Revealing the truth of your inner fears and wounds and then observing how your vulnerability is received by those who claim to care.  Instead, we walk on egg shells.  We tip toe to avoid any negative reaction that might be cast upon us…all this, is in opposition to love.

If we are not willing to be Free, free to be our complete selves, then there is no safe place for us, not even alone with ourselves.  To find love, you must first embrace all aspects of yourself, lovingly embrace every wound, and know that you, must reverse all those beliefs that harm, by exchanging them for ones that reflect love. While healing yourself, only allow those who Love to occupy that space. The pain you allow another to inflict on you, is a reflection of your own grounding in unworthiness. Decide in this moment, you are worthy of complete Love and start by giving it to yourself.

Allow your fears of your failings to be transformed into the knowingness of Love.

Until you are whole and complete in yourself, a complete acceptance and love of yourself, you will never find the true essence of Pure Love.

All vulnerabilities simply desire to be embraced in love.

Decide you will accept nothing less.