Posted by: dianaiannarone | July 12, 2013

What if the beliefs that are creating your life began before the age of 7?

Would that thought make you want to reassess them?

I spent twenty years writing my book. Each morning as I begin to blog, it is natural to draw upon the words I already spent years creating to attempt to first heal myself and now hopeful help heal others.

Below is an excerpt that I believe will assist in letting the healing begin…

“For now, regardless of what power we may have over our circumstance, I am going to say that as children, we have little to no authority over what happens to us. As children we are not big enough or strong enough to overpower those larger humans who may be harming us. When we were first born, we naturally thought we were one with our mother. As we grew and developed over time, we learned that we were separate from her. There are many facets to this understanding. One key facet is learning to say ‘yes’ to some things and ‘no’ to others. When our natural ‘no’ and ‘yes’ isn’t acceptable to the people around us, we experience limitations, because our goal is to not lose the love and acceptance we know innately even before we are born. What if when we feel love and acceptance being pulled away we change our behavior to make love and acceptance from others appear to return? In our formative years we are so responsive to the environment and people around us that we trust what they teach us, we trust that it is true. We do not look at ourselves to see our truth or what harm might be coming to us; instead, we look outside ourselves and ask, Who do we need to be to be loved and accepted in our current environment? We lose ourselves in favor of combined limitations and become the Limited Self. “Adapted Self” may be a more appropriate name. We may choose to remain there all our life.

The “adapted self” attempts to keep us safe, it gives us the illusion of love and acceptance. This adapted self is who we learn to be, not who we are.

In essence, as children we were filled with love, and then we sought acceptance. When we feel some aspect of ourselves is not accepted, the negative force of rejection by those we view as our authority, our caretakers, diminishes us and redefines what we think love is. From our heart of love, we begin to learn fear. What we fear most is losing love and acceptance. We need love and acceptance to feel safe. We become whatever we perceive will allow us to be given love and acceptance and/or will keep us safe.

I believe that we are born knowing only love, because we are aware of our connectedness to God. Then we are taught to fear. It is this fear, mainly fear of being rejected or harmed that teaches us to adapt our behaviors. These adaptations may not feel right to us, but we follow the path that we believe leads us to love and acceptance.

The feeling I have that this is wrong
must in fact be what is wrong. My feelings are wrong,
not the act of what is happening to me or being told to me.

That fear of not being loved and accepted forces us to shift from our whole-selves to our adapted-selves. Our adapted self is the person we perceive we need to become, and eventually do become, so that we might feel loved and accepted as a child. The adapted self hides who we really are. The adapted self is our wounded self. That adapted self we became to feel loved, accepted, and therefore safe as a child, can be released once we are an adult. We can release our adapted self any time we decide. Through finding your beliefs you will learn who your adapted self is, and begin to rediscover your true self buried underneath.

In order to free ourselves from our false or limiting beliefs that created our adapted self, we first must identify those beliefs and wake up to the true reality. Once awake, we must stand up for who we are and our beliefs, even if they seem unacceptable to the world at large and, perhaps, by whomever we view as an authority. This is easier to do as we begin to trust ourselves. This courage is contagious.”


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