Posted by: dianaiannarone | July 10, 2013

How are your Boundaries?

Boundaries are about protection. So often we fear that setting boundaries makes us mean, instead of realizing it makes us safe. Our boundaries enable us to have the energy and love to take care of ourselves, and those we love in healthy fulfilling ways and enable us to avoid such emotions as resentment. Resentment is so often a byproduct of choosing to say yes, when we wanted to say no. Why resent another for YOUR decision? You get to decide what to say yes to and what to say no to.

I decided to take a few excerpts from my book Me and My Shadow this morning to talk about boundaries.

“Going through my life without an understanding of boundaries and having a distorted belief of the “love one another principle” created much of the harm I experienced in my life. The simple truth is I believed other people mattered more than I did. I also believed that I could never violate or disobey authority, and I gave too many people the authoritative role.”

“I didn’t understand boundaries. I didn’t understand my body was my body. I didn’t understand my spirit was my spirit, I didn’t understand my emotions were my emotions. Clearly, I didn’t understand it was not only my right; it was my responsibility to Stand Up to protect myself. If I would not or could not protect myself as an adult, no one would.”

“All my life I was teaching people how I deserved to be treated by what I was allowing in my life. I taught them what I would tolerate, and I ask you to consider that you too are teaching others what you will tolerate and accept.

Embrace this thought:

You matter and it is your responsibility to ensure that your life is filled with love, honor and respect. It is the path to freedom.”

“It is not selfish or mean to take care of yourself in honorable ways, although sometimes people may lead you to believe that it is. The consideration is, are you intentionally harming another or are you merely protecting yourself? Are you considering only your needs, and not the impact taking care of your needs will have on another?”

“Face it, we all have been denied in one way or another. No matter how noble their intentions, no parent, spouse, partner, boss, or sibling could ever give you everything you needed, because there is no way possible for anyone else to actually know precisely what you need. Those people who cross our boundaries to harm us, to take advantage of us, to violate us with their words, their hands, their bodies, their penetrating use of fear, their weapons, their power, can today be behind us, if we are willing to Wake Up, Stand Up and Live Free. We must reignite our hidden power.”

It starts with the word No.

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