Posted by: dianaiannarone | December 14, 2016

Don’t Get Shattered


It is our illusion of invulnerability that makes us vulnerable. So often we believe we are invincible, we have the stamina and endurance to do it all. Part of why we believe it, is because we have done so most of our lives and done so successfully. Without obvious symptoms, nothing causes us to stop and evaluate. We keep going, we keep pushing, we keep driving. We often are unaware, or unconsciously avoiding acknowledging the truth. The truth that there may be grave consequences to our belief that we are invulnerable.

Are we deluding ourselves into believing that everything is okay? Do we believe there is no cost to our health or well-being in our martyr like principles? Do we even realize we are suffering?

Many times the answer is no, until that moment…that moment where everything changes and we can see what we refused to see.

Many times we do so much and carry so much, because we feel to ask for help makes us weak, so we continue to endure. Often we attribute vulnerability with weakness. Yet the truth is, we are all vulnerable, and to be truly free we must acknowledge this truth.

No matter how much life may be soaring along, in any moment, one breath— everything can change.

We can lose our job, lose someone we love, lose our health, our money, or all of these things in momentary points in time.

And then we will stop.

And then we will evaluate.

What if we chose instead to do it now? To bring ourselves into the reality of our present circumstance? What if we chose to evaluate where we might be vulnerable; where we might be over reaching to help others or not taking care of ourselves?

In my book Me & My Shadow, Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom, I give this visual as I encourage self-evaluation.

As you begin to look into yourself, it may be helpful to see an image of the world as a jigsaw puzzle. Now visualize the people of that world each holding their piece of that puzzle over their head. If each person held their own piece of that puzzle, the world would be at peace. In reality each of us observes how another is holding his or her piece and then we often judge them. We decide if they are holding their piece the right way or the wrong way, according to us. Or perhaps we decide that person isn’t holding their piece at all, so we may begin our powerful and often disastrous function of trying to hold their piece for them. So what do you think happens as each of us stretches our fingers out far and wide to hold the pieces of those around us, perhaps disregarding the one over our head? We lose our stability. We are no longer steady on our feet, as our strength begins to diminish. The more we try to hold the pieces of those around us, the greater the likelihood that our piece will fall, along with all those pieces that others have let go of given we were willing to carry them.

Then what?

Fall down seven, get up eight. It is when we are on the ground, broken, we can rebuild.

But must we fall to pieces? Must we crash to the ground?

What if we paid more attention to ourselves as we journeyed through life? Might that keep us from breaking?

 Perhaps in our evaluation we can ask ourselves if we have a propensity to control. Ask ourselves if we are disabling those around us by doing things for them that they should be doing for themselves. What if we took a moment to breathe, and admitted that perhaps we need to ask for help? And is it possible that we are allowing ourselves to be manipulated by those who have been taught that we will do anything, even if it is harming us?  How many pieces are you carrying, and how many are your own?

How often do you believe not only that you can do it all, but you must? Either because you don’t trust others to do it, or you feel guilty if you don’t do more than your fair share. I am not referring to helping those in need, real need, I am referring to us operating from core childhood wounds that give us a distorted view of what we must do to be loved, accepted and valued.

How much harm are we causing ourselves by not healing those wounds and thereby setting us free to live life on our terms, the ones that we set?

I carried an illusion of invulnerability for many years of my life, and I do know what it feels like to have all the pieces fall to the ground. And when you pick them back up, you will be more selective, you will be more self-aware, you will see all the things you were deluded to before. You will see all the things you never stepped back to look at, and you will realize, you were vulnerable, as I did.

Our vulnerability is real. Our illusion that we are invulnerable is the lie. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, it takes courage to be vulnerable. Honest transparency of our fears and ourselves creates depth in safe relationships, and validation of us in every moment. Paying attention to how we feel. Acknowledging what we need, what we desire, and who we are, allows for our full genuine engagement in our life.

This is where freedom resides. This is where are new life begins.

And know that in this process of moving from waking up, aware of our situation and how we are possibly dishonoring ourselves, to standing up where we begin to change the dynamics of our life takes awareness and courage. This means utilizing the art of saying no, with no guilt, fear or explanation. Boldly becoming clear that you can say yes to things that make you a priority in your life. Start now to have more conscious awareness, begin to heal those wounds that leave you more vulnerable to being broken.

Wake Up to how you’re operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom

“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.


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