Posted by: dianaiannarone | October 20, 2016

Are You Being Leveraged?

guilt

Might the why have something to do with guilt or shame? And is it possible that you are being manipulated by those emotions to your detriment?

Guilt and shame are worthy emotions intended to correct our behavior when we do something harmful to ourselves or to another. Yet, when we were conditioned early on in our life by the illusion of guilt or shame, we become targets for manipulators. They leverage our emotions to their advantage. Without our conscious awareness, they become the choreographers of our life—with our permission.

Illusion of guilt or shame? Yes; told that we need to be the bigger person, or not rock the boat, or don’t get someone else angry. Told that we are responsible for the behavior of others and that somehow if we walk more carefully on tightrope of good/perfect behavior there will be no upset in the family. When this happens, we unconsciously become susceptible to the use of guilt and shame to control us. How far reaching this control of our behavior goes in our adult life, depends on the depth of our childhood wound.

I have discovered that the behaviors we learned through the dynamics of our relationship with our mother drive our intimate relationships. Most reject this idea at first, yet in very short order, this can be proven. Discover what the wound is in that relationship, and as you begin to heal it, the dynamics of your intimate relationships will change.  Do you feel you have to keep the boat steady and be sure no one is upset? Do you own guilt and shame for things that truly are not yours to own? Do you feel responsible for the emotions of your partner?

The behaviors we learned through the dynamics of our relationship with our father drive our business or work behaviors. Discover what that wound is and your business success will change. Do you still feel your father is your authority? Do you still think you need his approval? Is there some level of childhood fear still within you?

Your wound is driving you to carry more than you fair share in the hopes of fulfilling the life of your dreams. Resolving old wounds can only be done by looking at them and healing them, not by overcompensating for them in your present life.

Evaluating whose “pieces” of responsibility you are carrying and why, is the beginning of acquiring the answers needed for rapid growth and permanent change. Whatever is holding you back, is grounded in the wounds you have ignored or not resolved fully.

Ultimately, if we continue to ignore the wounds that are sabotaging our lives, all those pieces we are holding, including our own, will crumble around us. Then, we will be forced to evaluate the wound. A deeper look now can allow you to let go of the pieces of responsibility that are not yours and thereby carry your own “piece” with more strength, power and joy. You can live life freely on your terms.

Wake Up to how you’re operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity.

Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation.  

We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances.  We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.

 


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