I used to love when Jose and Codee would lay down at the same time next to each other. It said to me that they felt safe and comfortable.
Do you feel safe and comfortable in the present conditions around you?
If not, email me at Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial phone or Skype consultation. It could change your life. Additionally, consider typing my name in YouTube Diana Iannarone to get a glance at some ideas and tips that could help you
Posted in Abuse, Antisocial Personality Disorder, executive coaching, fear, Life Coaching, Living Free, Narcissism, Narcissist, Relationships, Self-esteem, sociopathy | Tags: abuse of authority, bad relationships, Boundaries, breaking free, Coaching, courage, Deception, deceptions, Emotion, escape, fear, freedom, healing, liar, Life Coaching, Living Free, Manipulation, Narcissism, narcissist, Personal boundaries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, self-esteem, sociopath, Sociopathy, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, Vulnerability
I have always loved these doors that were on my previous property. Let it be noted they lock from the outside. You can always get in. Which door are you too afraid to try to open?
Posted in executive coaching, fear, Finding Peace, Freedom, Intuition, Life Coaching, Living Free | Tags: Coaching, connection, courage, Deception, Emotion, fear, free, freedom, healing, joy, Love, peace, Vulnerability
Loss of connection is an epidemic in this technological and virtual world. Stay connected to what matters.
Gangs all here! This was taken several years ago on my ranch- left to right Iggy, Lucky, Bubby (over Lucky), Bear & Brutis the labradane in the back.
Posted in executive coaching, Finding Peace, Freedom, Intuition, Life Coaching, Living Free | Tags: Coaching, connection, free, freedom, healing, Love, peace
You can create the life you want. Ignite your courage and live life on your terms. For a time I lived on my horse ranch “La Dolce Vita” in Oklahoma. That place gave me such gifts. The nature, horses, dogs, pond and wildlife will always be cherished. I left there to come back to NY when my daughter and son-in-law announced they were having a child! Now I get to share in all of the gifts that come with an amazing beautiful grandson! Life can be lived on your terms!
Posted in executive coaching, fear, Finding Peace, Freedom, Life Coaching, Living Free | Tags: Coaching, courage, freedom, healing, peace, self-esteem
Sometimes it’s hard to exit a relationship, whether it’s a long term intimate relationship, a job you have endured for longer than you cared to, or family dynamics you are tired of tolerating, a little guidance to ignite your courage can help. You decide the quality of your life. You may have to let go. Contact me for a free initial phone consultation or Skype.
Posted in Abuse, Antisocial Personality Disorder, executive coaching, fear, Finding Peace, Freedom, Intuition, Life Coaching, Living Free, Love, Narcissism, Narcissist, Relationships, Self-esteem, sociopathy | Tags: bad relationships, breaking free, Coaching, control, deceptions, Emotion, escape, fear, free, freedom, healing, liar, Living Free, Manipulation, Narcissism, narcissist, peace, Personal boundaries, sociopath, Sociopathy, Truth, Unhealthy Relationships, Vulnerability, wholeness
I have come to decide that isolating is indeed an epidemic. I know, I know, most of us think we can do everything on our own. We don’t really need anyone. That is the lie we tell ourselves so we can keep moving forward and getting things done. But we lose something when we do that, we lose ourselves.
Most of us don’t want to admit to needing help, or that we are overwhelmed, or that we are having trouble dealing with life. So rather than admit our truth, we stay busy, very busy…and we keep our emotions inside. We don’t speak of our struggle or our truth, and we isolate. In our isolation, sometimes we melt down, yet we never share that truth with others. We fear what they might think. We want to maintain our strong persona.
Isolating is a way of keeping to ourselves. We can isolate even in a crowd. Sure, we are smiling and sharing and laughing, yet if people could see behind that, what would they see?
Unless we show up REAL we are isolating, because the fullness of us is not really present in the room. Of course I don’t mean get in a crowded group, break down and shout you are in pain…although there may be times it could be appropriate, depending upon the group. The key point is— What would life be like if you lived transparently?
And how safe do you feel in the company you keep to do so?
Living transparently doesn’t mean you wear your emotions on your sleeve, it means you are willing to divulge your truths. Where you have been, where you are, what you have endured, and what matters to you. Or more accurately stated, you are willing to be vulnerable.
It is in being vulnerable that intimacy becomes real. If you don’t have a safe place for that, you might want to change the players or circumstances in your life.
Reach out. Connect with people. Go deep. In doing so it is revealed to you the character of the people around you. It takes courage to live a transparent life, and it is the most liberating experience of all. You get to just show up as you, not vested in the views that others might have. Break free from your inner boundaries, and live life on your terms.
Wake Up to how you’re operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.
Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).
Cut Your Root of Captivity.
Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom
“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.
We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.
Posted in Abuse, executive coaching, fear, Finding Peace, Freedom, Intuition, Life Coaching, Living Free, Narcissism, Narcissist, Relationships, Self-esteem | Tags: Boundaries, Coaching, Deception, healing, Life Coaching, Manipulation, Narcissism, narcissist, peace, self-esteem, sociopath, Sociopathy, Toxic Relationships, Truth, Vulnerability
It is so easy to get tied into the everyday grind. To lose our consciousness regarding the power we have in the creation of our life. So much of what we do and think becomes habitual. Moving through life with mundane routines and not really stepping back to assess how and if these behaviors and thoughts are impacting the vibrancy of our life.
What if this year, you truly decide this is your year for abundance of color in love and life? What if you decided to spend more time in nature, more time being connected to others, more time being fully and completely in the present moment and less time in front of the computer, television, phone or IPAD? What if you became a priority in your life? What if you spent more time trusting, and less time fearing?
A mere shift in consciousness can change every spectrum of your life by deciding in each moment to ask, is this truly the way I want to spend this moment?
We all know life is short. We all know we don’t know how long we have. The question is, does that inspire us to cherish every moment, every relationship, every connection with ourselves and others?
One pivotal moment in my life was when I listened to Steve Job’s 2005 Stanford University Commencement Speech. For some reason in 2011, that speech appeared on a page before me instantaneously, as I made a desperate plea to the Universe for guidance. I had said out loud into my own eyes in the mirror that I didn’t want to live a life that someone else created for me anymore. I didn’t want to feel trapped.
My eyes fell immediately upon these words from the speech that moved me…
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
In that moment I asked myself, where am I not following my intuition?
I describe that moment in detail in my book Me & My Shadow, here is an excerpt:
I was awed that the profound Universe showed me these words, words largely of my own choosing; words I had never seen or heard before, but it was obvious I would hear them and know them, and know all was being orchestrated for my highest, greatest good. I read the words, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, and I asked myself, where am I not listening to myself? I knew instantly.
My awareness elevated once again. I had released my desire to control in so many areas of my life, but I was becoming aware of my attachment to the idea that money still, in some measure, defined who I was. I had loosened my grip on the tangible, but I had not yet completely released it. I now knew as long as that belief lingered, I would not be fully free. To live free, I had to accept that the biggest roadblock in my own path to freedom came in the form of releasing my remaining attachment to the physical ego. The cord that kept me tied to the physical, unable to fully experience the Divine.
The last piece of the physical world that I clung to, the last piece I feared releasing was so ingrained that it had lingered on. I had a fear, that somehow if my financials were diminished, I was diminished. The image of who I was would be gone. In that moment, I released the last thing that kept me in chains; I chose Love over Fear, I chose Allow over Control and I was about to embark in a moment by moment endless experience of total freedom. I could Trust; just Know.
~~~~~~~
I knew then, it was time to trust myself, drop the price of my home for sale, and know something wonderful was going to happen. Weeks later, my daughter called me and I found out I was going to be a grandma, and made the life changing decision to move back to NY and not miss a moment of that experience. Truly one of the greatest joys of my life, inspired by a moment in time and a response from a plea. Are you looking and listening for the messages of wisdom trying to reach you?
Today as I wrote this post, Steve’s words from that speech echoed again, this time, from his words on death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
So as I said, a mere shift in consciousness can change every spectrum of your life. Perhaps it is best to not just decide, but to commit that in each moment you will ask yourself, is this truly the way I want to spend this moment? And when the answer is no, choose to have the courage to do something different.
Are you ready to paint the spectrum of your life vibrantly?
Wake Up to how you’re operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.
Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).
Cut Your Root of Captivity.
Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom
“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.
We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.
Posted in Abuse, executive coaching, fear, Finding Peace, Intuition, Life Coaching, Living Free, Love, Narcissist, Relationships, Self-esteem, sociopathy | Tags: Coaching, Emotion, freedom, healing, joy, Life Coaching, Love, Narcissism, narcissist, peace, self-esteem, sociopath, Vulnerability
What does it mean to be in alignment with love?
I’m willing to wager that there are people reading these words now who are very much filled with love. They have empathy, they care deeply for others, and they live their life to make a profound difference in the world.
These people are devoted, loyal, and can see the needs and the pain of others. They are sometimes termed as empaths; those that sense the feelings and suffering of others. These characteristics are a gift, however left unchecked, they can also be a curse. Devotion and love to those that value it and us is a beautiful gift, yet we need to be aware of people that might wish to simply capitalize on our devotion. Those that might fraudulently present themselves so that we might work harder and be more devoted—to save them.
How is it we can tell the difference between the genuine need of others, and those that are sociopathic/narcissistic and are merely using what we avail to them?
Examine a few things.
First, look internally. Stop and remember your own existence.
Are you hurting? And if so, why are you hurting? Why are you suffering? Often it is because in the formula of love we have neglected to examine ourselves and how we are being treated. How well are you taking care of yourself? How well are you loving yourself?
We do not need to endure pain to be a good spouse, parent, friend or even employee. We cannot leave ourselves out of the formula of love.
Does your devotion to love include yourself fully? Are you living within your own value system? Are you violating yourself or allowing others to, in any way? Are you speaking what you deserve, but tolerating something different?
Second, in all instances, also look externally. Examine the actions and words of those around you. Do they line up? If not look for those incongruences. Those situations where one thing is said, and another thing is done. Track these incongruences.
I find most people have an external locus of control. I define this as being driven by circumstances and needs outside of themselves. Which again, on the surface can be beautiful. However, true happiness, contentment, and peace, comes when we can turn toward an internal locus of control. Being driven by our truth, examining what is for THE highest good and honoring that. It is critical we listen to our own inner knowing, our own inner promptings. Whether you believe that is your intuition, God, or simply some force within you, is not as relevant as choosing to honor it. For in honoring it, you honor not only yourself, you also honor THE highest good, and remove yourself from the risk of being defeated, by enduring pain and suffering at the hands of a manipulator. We get to choose the quality of our life.
If you are easily driven by guilt, if guilt makes you act, then you are susceptible to being manipulated. Guilt and shame should only serve if you have actually done something wrong, something that YOU measure as wrong. Yet, a skilled manipulator will use guilt and shame as a tool to control you.
Don’t ever try to convince anyone of who you are. And if you find that you are frequently put in a position of feeling the need to defend yourself, even though by your own measure you have not done anything wrong, then be aware, you may be under the control of someone else. A choice you are making, that can be changed.
We get to say no. We get to place boundaries as necessary. And we get to live life fully on our terms. It is a courageous act to align with love, and include yourself in the formula. That courage can lift you from the deepest despair and allow you to feel free flowing joy and the knowing you are acting from a place of love for the highest good.
True love and connection is why we are here. Anything in contrast is not something we need to endure. It may be hard to let go, yet the quality of your life may depend on it. You can have the life you desire. Get aligned with love and you can block anything that might otherwise defeat you.
Wake Up to how you’re operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.
Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).
Cut Your Root of Captivity.
Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom
“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.
We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals
Posted in Abuse, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Intuition, Life Coaching, Living Free, Narcissism, Narcissist, Self-esteem, sociopathy | Tags: Boundaries, Coaching, Deception, fear, Life Coaching, Manipulation, Narcissism, narcissist, oppression, self-esteem, sociopath, Sociopathy, Toxic Relationships
Your reactions are your teacher. When you react defensively to a situation know that you have likely found a wound. A wounded person, reacts. They react because their wound has been hit and it hurts. Certainly someone may have been being thoughtless in their words, and therefore it is hurtful, yet your reaction defines YOU, not them.
So when you feel the propensity to want to react, versus calmly respond, ask yourself what really happened.
Certainly if someone insults you, it can be offensive, yet the level of anger it triggers lets you know what is going on within you. We might agree that someone saying you look fat, for example, is derogatory, hurtful, even abusive. That said, if I had no insecurities about my weight, I might see their words as unkind, yet I would not feel defensive.
Why?
I wouldn’t see that I had anything to defend.
Sure I might decide I no longer wish to associate with this person, true. However, in my secure position about my body I would not be inclined to attack back or defend myself.
When we are defending ourselves, often times we are merely trying to convince ourselves of something we don’t believe! And after we exhaust ourselves with our explanations as to all the reasons it is not true we are fat, now, we not only feel fat, we feel exhausted in addition to the mix of other emotions coursing through our body. Or at minimum, perhaps we just feel completely misunderstood which has with it its own set of challenges.
So when you feel that act of defensiveness, this knee jerk need to react—breathe. Pause, and ask yourself is there an element of truth in my mind to this statement?
Using the weight analogy, if the answer is that your weight bothers you, then make a mental note. I need to do something about my weight. Do not waste one morsel of your precious energy looking to convince the other party of anything.
As Benjamin Franklin stated “A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.”
Your wounds are yours. Ask yourself, when as a child did I have this same feeling? Meaning the feeling you felt when in the present moment someone called you fat. Now of course, this is just an analogy. I don’t think there are many “adults” that go around directly calling someone fat (except in some intimate abusive relationships). Yet, what about suggesting you did something incorrectly, or you were wrong in your opinion of a circumstance, or that your work was not up to par, or you were accused of being disloyal in a relationship…the list goes on and on of the potentially false or cruel assertions that can be cast upon us. Yet, the key is to evaluate what is going on inside you as this happens.
Pull yourself back to a time you FELT that same way, and you will begin to reveal the source of your wound. Remember, it is not necessarily the same experience, not the same words you just heard, it is just that you FELT the same way. Relate to the feeling. Don’t filter, go with the first thing that pops up and begin to journal on that.
Be okay with going back in that moment, and in your journal saying everything you wish you would have said in that space in time. Direct your emotions toward the person that previously triggered your defenses, even if in that real moment, you had to remain silent.
As children we could not always speak up due to fear of consequence from our parents, our then authorities. This exercise of revisiting this pain is a private matter. You do not have to address this with the person that may have harmed you all those years ago. You just need to realize, for each wound you heal, you are one step closer to full freedom. If there are no wounds, you do far better at not taking things personally. You will be less defensive, and more open. You will take feedback more in stride, and be able to differentiate what is valid and what is not, and your self-awareness will help you respond appropriately, not defensively.
Bottom line, as you heal, you will be able to communicate through false statements made about you, if it is necessary to do so, or dismiss them with a simple it is interesting you feel that way, if it is not necessary to clarify. More often than not, explaining is just a waste of our valuable energy that serves little purpose in changing anything. Less is often more. If you are accused of cheating in a relationship for example, you can just say: I am trustworthy. There is no need to give a diatribe or similar long-winded response to prove it. The truth simply is.
The more you heal your wounds, the more your self-esteem soars, the more freedom you have in your every moment.
Don’t try and convince others who you are, just be who you are. That is freedom.
Wake Up to how you’re operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.
Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).
Cut Your Root of Captivity.
Email Diana@redthornsolutions.com for a free initial consultation. Or order our Guide to Freedom
“Me & My Shadow” by Diana Iannarone on Amazon.
We do not give legal advice, nor do we use legal principles to apply to your circumstances. We are neither lawyers nor medical professionals.
Posted in Abuse, Antisocial Personality Disorder, executive coaching, fear, Finding Peace, Freedom, Intuition, Life Coaching, Living Free, Narcissism, Narcissist, Self-esteem, sociopathy | Tags: bad relationships, Boundaries, breaking free, Coaching, control, Deception, Emotion, fear, freedom, healing, joy, Life Coaching, Manipulation, Narcissism, narcissist, self-esteem, sociopath, Sociopathy, Vulnerability
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