Posted by: dianaiannarone | September 20, 2016

Are You Being Held Captive?


Golden handcuffs, an expensive proposition to keep someone on board within a Corporation. In essence a manipulation or benefit, depending upon your perspective, to retain a key person for their talents and abilities that a company feels are vital to the end goal. Like all things, there are pros and cons, none larger perhaps than the cost of implementation and the cost of the life of the person controlled by it.

Of course if you love your job, this is a win-win. You love what you are doing, you are handsomely lured into staying and it most likely feels pretty good, maybe even outstanding. Where your perspective might change is if you no longer wish to stay. Now the Golden items become your albatross, because you have to weigh the cost of leaving against the financial benefit of staying.

Yet, are we really examining the right things? Do we really want to be controlled by anything outside of ourselves? What is your price?

Of course, careful and wise evaluation must be implemented. One should not walk away at the wrong time if the cost to their soul is minimal to wait. The question is not just how far in the distance is your freedom, it is how much do you believe that money should rule your life?

I am not really writing about golden handcuffs, as much as the chains that bind us to live our lives different than our desires. How many people stay in relationships because of division of assets? How many people feel their spouse or significant other holds their lifeline, and therefore they are trapped into dissatisfied lives because they cannot find their freedom?

In my book “Me & My Shadow,” I describe the concept that we live in a box. This box defines how much room we have to live freely. The smaller the box naturally, the more confined we feel. The point to consider is, who decides the size of the box?

Many decide, their employer, their spouse, or their family are the ultimate decision maker in the size of the box.

What if none of that is true? What if we each define the size of our box based on how much courage, trust and faith we have in our inner promptings and true abilities?

If you know you want to leave a job, a relationship, or any situation, and you are choosing to remain in it, then in most cases FEAR is leaving you trapped in a box of your own making. Of course one should not just throw logic to the wind and make rash decisions that will be a detriment to their future lives. But how long should we stay in situations that are harmful or unhappy?

In essence there are four walls to this box like any box. The first wall to your side, is the Murder/Suicide Wall. You might be so desperate that you wish you could kill someone or yourself (or the company to the degree possible), so that you can be free from the burden. Most, obviously not all, move quickly away from this wall as it goes against their moral compass and the consequences are severe, and permanent.

The wall at our feet is the Geographic Wall.I will just leave. I will just walk away.” Yet, at that moment, all the financials and/or family dynamics come into play and it may seem economically or emotionally impossible to leave. This often leads people to feel they have no choice…they have to stay. Yet, that is rarely true in reality—if you could resolve the fear.

If you cling to the belief that you have no choice however, you move to the wall on the opposite side of Murder/Suicide, the Get Sick Go Crazy Wall. This is where you tend to experience a nearly constant state of frustration and anxiety. Your health starts to debilitate in part due to the incongruence in your life. You desire this, but you are settling for that. You are out of alignment with your soul desire. You are living outside of your moral or emotional compass, that tug-of-war begins to suck the life out of you, literally.

It is at that time, you either remain stuck until you continue to spiral down, perhaps until you die, or instead you make the more courageous choice. You go through the wall above your head. The Change Wall. The Change Wall requires introspection and evaluation of your belief systems. The belief systems that landed you precisely where you are. This is not always pleasant and can ignite a whole range of emotions. In fact, it can feel like you jumped into a raging river and all you want to do is swim back to the shore you were standing on, and you can; but if you do, you are also swimming back to the same life. IF you can continue to dive deep, tread water, breathe, and keep moving toward the opposing shore, you can create new beliefs that are congruent with who you are, and finally begin creating the life YOU desire. It only takes courage and perseverance to ultimately live freely on your terms. And you can do it.

Those chains that bind, are merely the illusion that you are unable to walk out the door or change the direction of where you are headed. Sure, strength maybe required to break them; what is paramount to know is—they can be broken.

Wake Up to how you’re operating from past hurts, Stand Up for your non-negotiable qualities and Live Free into your next reality.

Life is not meant to be a struggle, and healing from harsh forces is a beautiful, gentle awakening to the one limiting core belief—the red thorn—that can be gently released (not extracted).

Cut Your Root of Captivity


  1. Wow!!! This hit home. Thank you for putting the truth out there. You are VERY brave.

    Sent from my iPhone


  2. Oh my goodness, this is me at this very moment…! Thank you for this puzzle piece of wisdom !

    • I am so glad the message resonated! If you need support I offer a free consult. Always know, you CAN live freely on your terms! Email me at if you want to connect. (Your terminology about a puzzle piece fits with my message if you read my book!)

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