Posted by: dianaiannarone | June 10, 2014

What Do a Butterfly and a Nacissist have in Common?

What do a butterfly & a nacissist have in common

What do a narcissist and a butterfly have in common? That is what I found myself asking when last night I had this odd thought…that narcissists are like butterflies. They often look so alluring, vibrant and attractive. They seem to effortlessly fly through the maze and obstacles of the world and choose precisely where they wish to land. Then, they simply flutter about, traveling from flower to flower sucking the last drop of precious nectar from each. As butterflies alight upon flowers, it is through their feet that they taste the succulence. Imagine—butterflies enjoy the flavor of a flower, by walking on them.

Yet, who amongst us isn’t drawn to the captivating essence of a butterfly?

Once you have experienced the powerful pull of a narcissist, you unequivocally know the emptiness that remains after all your nectar and sweetness has been drawn from your core and can for quite some time feel the damage from having your soul repeatedly trodden upon.

Yet, to compare a butterfly to a narcissist feels a bit like sacrilege. Butterflies are so beautiful and cherished. So this morning I sought answers as to why I would have received such a prompting  to compare the two and be compelled to write.

And then it occurred to me.

Narcissists are the illusion of the butterfly.

They delude us into seeing an image of beauty, and image of lightness, aloof and untouchable…as we admire and wish to be closer to them, to catch them, to have them set down within our space and this is by design. They present this sort of dance, like a spiritual flittering, yet what makes the true wonder and majesty of the butterfly is what it had to endure to arrive. The isolation, the growth, the devotion to its journey.

We all know that the depth of soul does not exists in the hollow being of a narcissist, and the reason is because they know nothing of transformation. They know nothing about true devotion to growth in complete isolation. They know nothing of sitting in the dark and soul searching to become all that they can be. Some butterflies spend up to two years in chrysalis…and for them to arrive at that stage, the stage where they are in hibernation, they first, as a caterpillar, had to devotedly eat and eat to provide the foundation for that chrysalis to be formed. Hunting and searching for sustenance is not unlike a narc, eating what it can find for its own survival. The caterpillar however, was doing so to lay a foundation where growth and transformation were possible, not simply to devour something for solely its own gratification and to offer nothing to the world in return. A caterpillar is working to prepare for the next stage of development.

Each moment in this full process of transformation, from egg, to caterpillar, to chrysalis, to taking flight, they can fall prey to any number of predators. Its hope is to reach its majestic wonder and when it does, quite by accident, unaware that while enjoying the gifts of the flower it accidentally picks up the pollen with its wings, effortlessly passing the pollen on…for growth and beauty to be reproduced. The butterfly, by their nature and process of development, grants us the awareness of what it took to get there, and then they flutter in the world giving joy…representing for all of us transformation and change.

So remember, if you have had the misfortune of being touched by a narc, the gift is the opportunity for YOUR transformation; to be so much freer, to remember that you were always able to fly where you chose. You may have to scavenge for your survival…you may have to bury yourself in a cocoon of isolation…unable to bear the pressures and noise of the world because you have PTSD, anxiety, and a broken heart. But, when you decide to, your will emerge from that place, knowing your beauty and wonder and now, you will know that you are free to go wherever you choose, and live knowing you are the creator of your life, by what you allow and what you release. Having gone through this tumultuous pain, in the lonely and desperate isolation you can choose to reunite with your core…rediscover the wonder of your soul…and most importantly, know how to recognize that depth in another. When you take that time, when you embrace yourself in that dark and lonely space, know that when you arise again, you will  never be drawn in by the illusion of wonder, you will observe and discover, if it is illusion or Truth.You awaken from the darkness knowing you no longer need to tolerate the intolerable. You have endured, so that you may flourish.

According to Ted Andrews in his book “Animal Speak,”

“Butterflies bring color and joy with them. When butterflies come into your life look at how much or how little joy is within your life. Lighten up. Look for change. Don’t forget that all change is good.  Butterfly medicine reminds us to make changes when the opportunities present themselves.  Transformation is inevitable, but the butterfly will help teach  you that growth and change does not have to be traumatic. It will teach you that it can occur as gently, as sweetly, and as joyfully as we wish.”

Embrace the wisdom and knowing that you achieved through your transformation and spread it so others may grow…even if you do so accidently as you choose to enjoy the sweet nectar of life.

Copyright © 2014 by Diana Iannarone

If this strikes a chord with you, consider buying my book:

Me and My Shadow

Move from Fear and Control to Love and Freedom.

On Amazon:

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